Been a while!

It's been a while since I've been on here, but I thought it was time to update! :)

Nothing really new with our very busy family...football started and we are pumped! Kalib and Ethan get to play tackle football this year and Jax will continue playing flag football since he is still too young for tackle. I love watching them practice and everyday they continue to amaze me. I realize just how lucky I am to have such wonderful and amazing boys.

I wanted to share a journey that Clint and I have been on these last several years. It has been heartbreaking and upsetting to say the least. Clint and I have a great desire to add to our family. We have always known that a large family is something we would love to have. While we have tried a lot of different avenues to make this happen, it simply has not. I finally hit a point last week where it all hit me. I couldn't understand why? What we did wrong? I honestly questioned God. It wasn't intentional, it wasn't in vain, it was out of grief and hurt that I had in my heart for this desire and longing. I had some really amazing friends point out to me how I shouldn't question His plan, but be grateful for the plan He has for me...whatever that may be. I also learned through these friends that this infertility is a grief and I need to deal with my emotions. I have fought them for so long and it's time to let them out. I have tried to protect myself from these feelings by not letting others know just how badly my heart is hurting. How I am literally grieving the loss of a child I may never have. It is a true grief, it is heartbreak in it's raw form. Everyday I am learning so much about this process and my feelings, I am learning how to cope and move forward in my life. I leaned on an old classmate of mine for some advice on a different avenue and her words were so inspiring and really gave me so much to think about. I cannot elaborate on them right now, but hold them very dear to my heart. Thank you Lindsey! I am not sure why I am posting this on my blog, except that maybe this is a type of "therapy" for me...in addition to what I am already seeking, maybe this is a way to cope and get it all out on the table. Maybe this is to inform people that I'm hurting. I honestly started having a thought in my head of "No one cares...if they cared, they would ask" well how can someone care or know if I don't tell them. So here it is, not only am I hurting and grieving...Clint is also. He hurts and longs for another child and is literally envious of those that can concieve. Our boys ask all the time "When are we going to have a baby" I wish I had an answer, I wish I could tell them why or if this will ever happen. So there it all is...as painful as it is to show our vunerability...

Been a little while...

So it's been a little bit crazy in our world lately, some good, some bad. Ultimately I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. We got a little off our gluten free lifestyle, but are slowly working our way back. Most of what we eat is gluten free anyway, so it's not TOO much of a difference in eating habits for us. So I just wanted to check in and figure I will write more later, when time seems to allow...which lately has not been acheivable. LOL!

I am blessed!

"Mom I just wanna be normal again..."

So tonight Kalib tells me "Mom I just wanna be normal again..." I said "What?!" His reply "I just want to eat normal food, like everyone else..."
It made me feel bad at first...my initial instinct: "Ok, fine...no more gluten free"
My second and final thought: "Kalib, this is going to make our family feel so much better...don't you want to feel good all the time, no tummy pains, no hurting?"
I know this is hard on the boys...I mean they do take their lunch and they've always wanted to, but I never did...now they are getting to and of course they don't want too. I think it was just hard because yesterday was his teacher's birthday and she emailed me to send something for him since they were having cake. Then today one of his buddies brought cupcakes and daddy was suppose to take him a cupcake...and FORGOT. He was upset...left out...and just felt "different". I assured him that wouldn't happen again and I was sorry Daddy didn't remember. So I am compiling a list of 'goodies' to eat that are gluten free...even though our main mission was to be healthier...I still believe kids need to be kids. I want them to feel as "normal" as possible. So I thought I would share a few gluten free goodies that I am going to let the kids indulge in (in moderation of course)...
Snacks:Lays Potato Chips- plain, wavy and ruffle only
Fritos
Tostitos chips
Popcorn
Utz cheese balls- Sams Club
Cracker Jack
Trix Cereal
Betty Crocker fruit snacks, Sunkist fruit snacks,most fruit snacks are fine, welch's, kellogs (Of course we can't have all of these because Jax is allergic to apple)
Danimals Yogurt
Gogurt
Trix yogurt,Yoplait Yogurts

Yoplait yogurts

Kraft Cheese- sliced, block, or string
All Fruit and veggies- no dip
Candy List Reeses PB cups
Reeses pieces
Snickers
Starburst
Skittles
Tootsie Rolls and Pops
Dum Dums suckers
3 Musketeers
Nerds
Life Saver candies (gummy and hard)
Sour Patch Candies
Peeps
Hubba Bubba Gum
Smarties
Sweet Tarts
Candy corn
Baby Ruth
Almond Joy
Sugar Daddy
Hershey (bar and kisses)

 

We are still checking these out (this is a list I got from a friend of mine...so of course I'm still checking to make sure they are all "truly" gluten free!!!!

Some of our favorites...

So I had someone ask me today about Gluten and what it entailed. I also had everyone at work saying "Gluten free lunch today?.....yuck!" Well I have news for them...it is very YUMMY!!! Here are some of our new favorites:
Homemade Mac-N-Cheese (Velveeta, fat free milk and Gluten free elbow noodles!!!)
Spaghetti w/ meat sauce (Walmart sells GREAT, cheap gluten free noodles, Prego spaghetti sauce & ground turkey)
Oh and we LOVE fruit roll ups, gushers and fruit by the foot!

For those interested here are some of our favorite sites to find gluten free:
http://www.liveglutenfreely.com/products/default.aspx

http://www.mamashealth.com/diets/glufree.asp

http://www.fritolay.com/your-health/us-products-not-containing-gluten-ingredients.html

I'm so excited and learning more and more everyday!!!!
Oh and for those with smart phones, they have a Gluten Free App!!!!! WOOHOO!!! :)

Update from the specialist today...

Took Kalib to his Pediatric Gastroenterologist today. I have mixed feelings about his treatment route, but I guess that is why I didn't graduate from medical school, LOL! For those of you tuning in that are not aware, Kalib has been through heck and back with his bowel issues. When Kalib was a baby, we noticed he did not poop like a normal baby. He would strain, have a rock hard tummy and then if we were "lucky" he would produce some little pebbles of poop. Kalib was always a very hungry baby and unfortunately had a bad reflux on top of it, so it was very common that Kalib would drink a bottle and proceed to throw it up ALL over. We're not talking a "normal" baby spitting up some formula, I'm talking exorcist, projectile vomitting. Throughout the years Kalib went to several different specialists, most of them were in Kansas City at Children's Mercy Hospital. Finally a local Pediatric Gastro opened up here and we switched immediately. She is not my favorite, but for now she is our only option. Well we went today after being urged to go by the ER doctors from last week (Kalib was very ill with a high fever, leg pain & numbness and constipation). Basically our course to a diagnosis is to start off with an MRI. She is looking for abnormalities with his spinal cord (Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome). This would explain his bowel incontinence, urination incontinence and leg pain and numbness. However, I am just not sure on the rest of the symptoms or if this is really a solution to his problems. Again, I am not a doctor and I guess she is doing what she feels is best. I just want answers for him. I hate watching my son go through this. For almost 10 years now we have stood by, helplessly going from one doctor to another and trying our best to get a diagnosis only to get the run around every time. We even went the psychological route for the last year or so because they said "it could be behavioral" and "maybe it's a control issue...maybe start there". Well we did and nothing improved. So thank you all for your continued prayers and keep them coming as we begin another long trek to hopefully getting a full diagnosis and not just another pacifier for the symptoms.

Our new lifestyle

Well, we are off on a new adventure! For about a year now I have been toying with this idea...it was first presented by my doctor and Kalib's doctor. We both have GI issues so it makes perfect sense! We are now a Gluten-Free family! I am very excited to see how this change affects our family. Kalib and I struggle with tummy and bowel troubles, Clint and I have asthma, Ethan has eczema and Jax has horrible allergies...with all the research I've done this should actually help every member of our family!
Yesterday was the shopping trip, fun would not be a word I would use to describe it...not because I hated ready every label of everything I purchased, but because I had three sick, bored and annoyed little guys with me. Finally got a lot of great things and started our venture last night.
Our first dinner:
Grilled chicken
Brown rice
Peaches
Radishes
It was very yummy, even Clint couldn't complain...although he did, because well let's face it: That's just him! LOL!
Breakfast this morning:
Honey Chex Cereal
Fat Free Milk
Lunch:
Gluten free Mac-N-Cheese
Turkey hot dogs
Dinner:
Gluten free spaghetti
Celery with peanut butter
Mixed fruit
YUM YUM!!!!

Well I'm new at this...

What can I say, I have tried bloggin before but quickly fell out of it. Now I'm a woman on a mission....for now right? In a nut shell I'm a busy full-time working mommy to three of the most amazing boys God every graced this earth with. I have been married to my wonderful husband for over 10 years now...not always easy and far from perfect, but amazing none-the-less! Here's a quick background on myself and my wonderful family...
Me: Again, I work full time outside the home, I love anything that has to do with my boys, they are my greatest accomplishment! I grew up in a small family with my mom, my sister and myself. My mom has been married three times (so far, that's a WHOLE other story!) so we had my step-dad #1 around for 8 years and then my current step-dad (#2) since I was 15. My sister (my best friend!!!) is mostly a stay-at-home mom, but she does AMAZING professional photography on the side. I have one nephew and one niece from her and my brother-in-law! I also have a wonderful step-brother who is engaged to be married in June. He and I have been very close, as he is only three years younger than I! I am very close to my family, as crazy as we all may be, right?!?!? I met my husband just weeks after turning 17 and fell in love the second I met him. When I met him I didn't want to get married or have children......so imagine my surprise when I learned that he wanted to marry me, with an even bigger surprise: he asked me and I actually said yes! LOL! We married 5 months before I turned 19 and a month and half later found out I was expecting our first blessing!
The Hubby: My husband is in law enforcement and a very serious person. He's an avid movie watcher and John Wayne is his hero! He loves his boys and family, even the dogs more than he will ever admit or show! LOL! He is the third of four children and has a very large family....which I LOVE and adore! So far there are 27 with us and one on the way!!!! Come July we will be a happy, cozy, "little" family of 28! It is absolute choas and the most fun ever!!! I am very close to my in-laws and we all live relatively close (with the exception of his little sister). Hubby's family consist of: Dad & Mom, married 41 years this year. Oldest Sister & her hubby (Married 19 years) and have six awesome children Nephews: 18 years old, 14 years old & 9 years old and Nieces: 12 years old, 7 years old and 3 years old. Yes they are the Brady bunch of our family and just amaze me everyday!!! Hub's brother is four years older than him and married to his wife for 13 years this year. Together they have 5 children, although sadly their beautiful daughter Arianna has now grown wings and with our Lord & Savior. Their four incredible children with them are Nephews: 11 years, 7 years and 1 year and my pretty niece who is 9 years! Next in the line of children comes my husband and then the youngest, his sister and her husband...married 8 years in March have four children and one still baking in the oven! Nephews: 7 years, 5 years and 1 year and my adorable niece who is 4! It is such a blast when we all get together, which is quite often...providing no sickness strikes, which seems to be happening in this time of year. We also all, yes ALL 27.5 of us take a large family vacation every year! It is purely the definition of awesome!
Our oldest "baby" Kalib, will turn 10 in May! He is an avid "outdoorsman" and loves to hunt, farm and work...yes he loves to work. Whether it's cleaning the shed, the yard or fixing something broken. He is an amazing little boy with more work ethic than most grown men! Kalib is in third grade and has lots of friends! He loves to wrestle, play football, play soccer and baseball! He loves his friends and brothers and has a huge heart of gold!
Our middle "baby" Ethan, will turn 8 in June...wow it sounds so weird saying that. Ethan is our petite guy and for some reason I have the hardest time admitting that he is growing up. He is our gamer...big time! He plays any video or computer game you put in front of him and you can see his big hazel eyes light up amid all the freckles when he  has the chance to play!!! Ethan is in 2nd grade and plays sports as well, although I am sure it more because his brothers do and not by his choice. He would much rather sit at home and play video games...so it's a good thing we don't allow that! LOL! Ethan also enjoys baseball, wrestling and football.
Our "baby-baby" Jaxon (Jax for short) just turned 6 in November! He is the biggest hearted-bully in the world LOL! Jax is nicknamed "Dozer" by my father-in-law and for good reason. This little guy is an ox...he doesn't even know his own strength. He is forever faithful to his mommy though! There is not a day that does by that Jax is sitting by me or running up to me to hug me and say "I Love You, Mommy!". Although his brothers are all my "protectors" he is definitely my lovey one! Jax is in Kindergarten and also enjoys sports and any other reason to be rowdy!
That about sums up our "Lucky Little Family" and we appreciate you taking the time to get to know us and follow in our crazy endeavors!

Love & Blessings to all,
Chrystal